115 Things You Can't Do While Serving Abroad the Enterprise
by mynamemattersnot
Summary: There are rather special rules on the Enterprise that must never be broken or a demon from a parallel universe will come to eat you. These are a few of the rules.


**115 Things You Can't Do While Serving Abroad the Enterprise**

**Author's Note: Boredom reigned. I am sorry SVU Productions this story idea came directly from reading one of your stories of which I give you ultimate credit. I got rule ideas from other fanfiction stories (which I also take no credit for), episodes of Star Trek (which I do not own), and random thoughts that appeared in my head. To make it clear this list is all shouldn't do's. I own nothing.**

DO NOT:

Mess with Q.

Make Jean-Luc Picard hold a screaming child.

Use a trip rope on Worf.

Reprogram Data into a party-crazed teenager like one from the twenty-first century.

Go a year without telling Wesley or Data to shut up.

Take Geordi's visor and hide it under the captain's chair.

Twerk on the bridge.

Bring an animal on the bridge.

Challenge Worf to a fight.

Stare at Counsellor Troi's cleavage.

Go near Spot.

Walk around the Enterprise naked.

Yell "I love you Edward Cullen" to Commander Data.

Vandalize Starfleet property.

Play an instrument badly.

Shave off Riker's beard and hair while he is asleep.

Call Picard by his first name.

Steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.

Punch a Vulcan.

Pretend you can speak a language you never have heard or do not speak.

Tell Data to break a leg.

Have sex in the ready room.

Switch the artificial alcohol with real alcohol.

Poke the bear.

Call red alert for attention.

Set the Enterprise on fire.

Put hair remover on Worf's beard.

Make fun of Picard's baldness.

Put a woopie cushion on Picard's chair.

Cut holes in Guinan's ridiculous hats.

Reprogram the replicators to only serve cat food.

Throw a pie at Picard.

Play loud heavy metal music over the communications system.

Teach pranks to Data.

Steal Riker's condoms.

Start a band with Geordi.

Draw on Data's face.

Skydive out of a view screen.

Write "Picard Sucks" in the Enterprise's main bathroom.

Hit Worf with a baseball bat.

Challenge Data to a staring contest.

Bully Wesley in front of Dr. Crusher.

Steal all of Counsellor Troi's chocolate.

Switch Riker's poker cards to a cheap set of magic cards.

Sit on Picard's chair.

Try to steal from the Enterprise.

Make a serious high price bet with a Ferengi.

Gandalf Style! 8D!

Bring a dog to Data's quarters.

Ask Will Riker to marry you.

Stick a "Kick Me" sign on Worf's back.

Question Data's accuracy.

Not make fun of Wesley.

Propose to Luxuana Troi for marriage.

Ask Troi what cheerleader squad she is on.

Kick Wesley from the bridge.

Ride a motorcycle onto the bridge.

Enter a math contest for Androids.

Give Geordi a book for Christmas.

Attempt to steer the Enterprise into the sun.

Fire upon a Romulan vessel first while you are in Romulan territory.

Install a member or members of the crew with special powers.

Invite Q onto the ship.

Rename the Enterprise "Lollipop".

Awaken Mortiary.

Call the computer fat.

Prevent Picard from discovering something new.

Activate the self-destruct for laughs.

Tell the crew they are only fictionous characters.

Install unruliness in Alexander.

Steal Data's memories.

Reactivate Lore.

Eliminate all the sweets from the Enterprise.

Become a werewolf.

Spend a whole day without speaking a word.

Tell Data to get lost.

Start an argument with Picard.

Have a logic battle with Data or a Vulcan.

Pee all over Worf's room.

Sabotage Geordi's engines.

Make Data's quarter a mess.

Walk around with your eyes shut.

Talk to yourself.

Fake death.

Disguise yourself as Picard and act like an idiot.

Try to make Data angry.

Try to teach Sela humanity.

Volunteer yourself for Borg assimilation.

Go trick or treating to people's quarters.

Smoke cigars in Ten Forward.

Try to steal someone else's job.

Hypnotize the crew to your advantage.

Engage in a long conversation with Data.

Try to sell Data to a Ferengi.

Kill Tasha Yar needlessly off of Star Trek.

Create clones of Riker and/or Picard. (Come on isn't one enough already?)

Create Data so he looks exactly identical to his brothers.

Let the creeper spy on you.

Scare Barclay.

Spend all day on the Holodeck.

Reprogram the teleporters to create a new lifeform.

Use the Holodeck to create real wild animals and release them onto the Enterprise.

Jump on the turbolift.

Spill soda on the bridge.

Steal Data's arm or head.

Challenge Data to a tap dancing competition.

Insult the French.

Cut the power to the main computer.

Switch Dr. Crusher's medicine with placebos.

Treat Data like a machine.

Mess with the environmental controls.

Change the crew into animals.

Negotiate with Q.

Challenge Guinan or Data to a phaser firing contest.

Teach your pet bird to say, "I hate Star Trek."

**Author's Note: Well I hope you liked it despite the fact I kind of ran out of all the best ideas at the end. I do not own Star Trek or SpongeBob Squarepants or any dances mentioned or that one song. Please review. 8D! **


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